At this point, most of my Universe reviews are bleeding into each other. I start by complaining how fans have to download this cumbersome app to view the full music videos, and go on to write about how the music itself feels extraneous to an artist’s discography.
So, shall we shake up the format a bit? Maybe it’s time for a poem:
This group called WEi haven’t yet made their mark,
I keep waiting for one of their songs to spark,
Now they’ve signed up for this Universe lark,
Oh, WEi.
Starry Night is produced by a guy called “dress”
Who’s written enough idol tracks to impress
Luckily, this one isn’t a mess,
Oh, dress.
The song is kind of a bop when it sticks to its groove,
The plucked percussion really makes me move,
But that lame chorus? I don’t quite approve,
Wait!
What’s that cool distortion that sounds like a cyclone?
Just as the song reaches its end zone?
Might my mind be totally blown?
This last-minute switch-up makes me clap
Starry Night really wants to slap!
I wonder if the video fills in the gap?
Oh, right. I have to download that damn app.
| Hooks | 7 |
| Production | 8 |
| Longevity | 8 |
| Bias | 8 |
| RATING | 7.75 |
To stick with the formula, I’ll write a limerick:
The universe songs have been consistent,
In a bad way, the mark the producers missed it
This one’s by wei,
It is okay,
But not okay enough for me to stream it.
LikeLiked by 7 people
Bravo! And extra credit for attempting a limerick!
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Roses are red
This song is crap
For the rest of the poem please download the app
LikeLiked by 8 people
😂 LOL! Extra points for brevity and bluntness.
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I choke-laughed, and then had to explain Universe to my husband before reading him your comment, and then he laughed, so well done!
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There once was a group from Korea
Who tried to do their do re mi ah
They got stuck in Universe
Especially with that second verse
And now we here are all blah blah
LikeLiked by 5 people
well this goes in the legendary nick posts folder just for that creative spin ! you made me smile over an otherwise okay song
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“The intent is to provide kpop fans with a sense of pride and accomplishment for downloading our app and watching the MVs.
As for the lameness of the song, we selected initial values based upon data from other songs and other adjustments made to milestone views before launch. Among other things, we’re looking at average per-fan credit earn rates on a daily basis, and we’ll be making constant adjustments to ensure that fans watch MVs that are compelling, rewarding, and of course attainable via downloading our app.
We appreciate the candid feedback, and the passion the community has put forth around the current topics here on the Internet, our forums and across numerous social media outlets.
Our team will continue to make changes and monitor community feedback and update everyone as soon and as often as we can.”
-Universe, probably
[-355348954321909906421 downvotes]
LikeLiked by 6 people
With them I danced Bye Bye Bye,
Even if I did forget it byTwilight,
The teasers were certainly neat,
But it was All for Nothing.
The retro synths in the chorus galore,
The verses, though, make me snore,
If the app is like this,
It is nothing but sh*t.
I planned to right normal thoughts,
But the comments advised me to not,
They led me in sway,
With more energy than Starry Night,
This song does not work well,
And ends up boring as hell.
LikeLiked by 6 people
Wait, I wrote my own poem, why is it not showing? Did WordPress think it was Spam again?
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Wait, I now see it, I feel dumb,
Perhaps, looking made me more numb,
To avoid further embarrassment,
I’ll write this line, and pretend I am not out-of-whack.
LikeLiked by 5 people
This app is made of crap.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Nevermind, somebody already rhymed both lol
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btw, jo yuri is releasing her first song on the 7th. can’t wait.
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Lol, I gave up poetry with my goth phase. I like what sounds like a real guitar maybe, but I think so far I’ve only liked one Universe release enough to playlist, and this isn’t changing that.
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I don’t have a way with words like the rest of you I’m just here to say this whole post and the comments are making me laugh so hard on the way to work.
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let me try to write one *to the tune of Wow by loona’s chorus since bbc is currently in a difficult situation rn*
Never heard this group called WEi
Looks like a mysterious place
Think I’m going to take some time
And go walk up their staircase
But wow wow wow the song’s so lame
And wow the chorus is too tame
So Universe, can you please
make a bop this time?
LikeLiked by 4 people
Uh, so what you gotta do is make the chorus work somehow
Make us go WOW and make the song go POW
Shake your shake your butt and shake it shake it off
And fix your shitty app or my phone is gonna pop
LikeLiked by 3 people
Nick needs to write posts like these
Just stop with the universe releases please
I can no longer take it no more
I’m hoping atleast the next one won’t be a bore
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I’m can’t write poetry; I just tend to write overdone sentences.
Long ago I arrived at the conclusion that any song starting with a slow “hoooh” or “yeah yeah” is going to be lackluster. Still seems a good rule of thumb.
But yeah, the video makes up for the song, in a sense. (Helpful people always upload these) Suits my aesthetic taste to a T:
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tesseract and drink it are the only enjoyable universe tracks for me. like i genuinely like both the songs and the concepts, they could’ve been actual comebacks
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I am not witty
forgive me for that
but if Nick gets any funnier
Imma spit out my tea ASAP
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nick shaking up the review formula because he’s so bored with the universe releases is so funny to me
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