The Universe app really needs to stop releasing these random tracks so I can stop with my tradition of off-kilter reviews. It’s getting harder to come up with new ideas!
In short, I appreciate how Don’t Stop pairs ATEEZ with their usual collaborators. It makes it feel less like a cash-in and more like an unreleased b-side. Unfortunately, the song’s quality falls within “b-side” territory as well. It’s not bad, but certainly not up to the group’s high standards.
But, I know what you’ve all been waiting for…
I’ll get real nostalgic with this “review” and pitch it as a Mad Lib – one of my favorite games as a kid. For those of you who haven’t played before, please come up with words that match the following rules. Then, click the link below and create your own review by filling the blank spaces with the corresponding word. Feel free to past your personalized review in the comments if you’d like!
1. Adjective:
2. Noun:
3. Verb:
4. Verb:
5. Adjective:
6. Adjective:
7. Adjective:
8. Verb:
9. Plural Noun:
10. Adjective:
11. Adverb:
12. Emotion:
13. Verb:
14. Noun:
MAD LIB REVIEW LINK
| Hooks | 7 |
| Production | 7 |
| Longevity | 8 |
| Bias | 7 |
| RATING | 7.25 |
The Bias List // K-Pop Reviews & Discussion 
Mr. San was sitting down
Just opening a box
Jongho was under the desk
Just sucking on his
Lollipop San gave him
It was tasty and sweet
While doing that he went down his pants
stroking on his
very fluffy puppy
and then Hongjoong came in
he put his hand in San’s pocket
and grabbed onto his
phone and pulled it out
and with a stroke of luck
he opened up his phone
and shouted “What-
The producers walked in
to call Ateez to the room
“You need to make a good song
because our app is
not really that good.”
Ateez walked out the door
in the room there was a lady
she looked just like a
fairly young woman
she showed Ateez the song
“Here’s the materials,” she said
as she pulled on her
pants because they’re falling
so Ateez sang it all
the song was so awful
Mingi kicked the producer’s
knees and made him fall down
so he released the song
Nick was the first to listen
while he was changing his
underwear to get ready
it was such a great cinch
he of course didn’t like the song
but that’s cause he’s a
bit tired of Universe
that app was really bad
he went to that producer’s room
and cut off his-
that’s the end of the story
because that was the bell
if you thought i was swearing
then you’re going to hell!
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Won’t be following the game’s expectations because this is more depressing than celebratory for me. From Deja Vu to The Real to Fireworks and now this, I just gotta admit that ATEEZ just aren’t for me anymore. How did it come to this? After all, they still have their same production team…don’t they? but why does their music feel so generic. I am not saying I am longing for pirates or crap like that, it’s just…the idiosyncrasies in their past titles have gone.
Treasure will always remain one of my favorite series of all time, loved almost every song from there but that’s just only a fragment sadly. They’re still funny, incredible and talented but I just can’t resonate with their music anymore.
I still have that ounce of hope that they MAY have a resurgence like The Rampage just did recently…with their excellent new album but that’s far too away.
Eh…This is too long. Sorry for making this depressing and grumpy…more than It should’ve been.
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They lost the thread when they left the pirate ship.
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There once was a girl from Nantucket
who listened to the first verse and chorus
and thought “what the cluck?!”
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Are you doing ok there, mate?
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I should not have allowed you to play with these toys….
Haha I love you but let’s keep this at least PG-13, ok??
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you’re right, i should definitely not horn up these types of games you set up
i’m just playin, you know i love ya
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Y’all know what day this is?? I selfishly want the universe releases to keep coming for more reviews like this!
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That feeling when the review is more creative than the song
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Ateez are back with another fantastic track. They’re the latest humans to hope on the universe bandwagon, which means you must embrace the app to appreciate the full music video.
Don’t stop casts a celebratory atmosphere, pulsing along farty brass loopy synths and a very very unique trap beat. Meanwhile, the guys waste their talents to deliver a breathtaking performance. The song passes by with great fanfare and by the time it’s finished, you feel sad.
Will I vibe to this song again? Time will tell, but for now don’t stop feels more like a major milestone in the group’s career.
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I never have been more wrong (except me stupidly dismissing next level) but I’m pretty proud.
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This weirdly reads like an actual review! (albeit one I disagree with…)
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We can consider this the contradiction of all our thoughts.
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Note:
*100% sarcasm
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I love the positivity in this!
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Where’s my nice brown 😭 what is this violently fuchsia colour
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I’m confused. I did not like the song either but there’s nothing like a shot of positive sarcasm.
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THIS VERSION IS 100% PG-13 I PROMISE YOU NICK
Ateez are back with another outrageous track. They’re the latest humans to hope on the Universe bandwagon, which means you must scream in the app to appreciate the full music video.
Don’t stop casts a party atmosphere, pulsing along sharty brass loopy synths and a very very unique trap beat. Meanwhile, the guys shout “naega byeonhae” to deliver a “omg so amazing uwu” performance. The song passes by Jae insulting Jamie and by the time it’s finished, you feel like eleven.
Will I scream to this song again? Time will tell, but for now don’t stop feels more like a huge-ass daebak in the group’s career.
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Pure poetry!
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see? i’m a big boy who can throw three stacks, show how to ball to a mismatch, be opinionated but always spit straight facts, throwback and throw this on an eight track!
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Your Universe reviews are so fun 😂 I never want them to stop making these just so that I can see these hilarious games!
Too lazy to post the full result of my DIY review… but my second Noun happened to be quite an interesting one and I got “The’re the latest BANANAS to hop on the Universe bandwagon…”
I think this pretty much sums up the groups going for Universe releases really 🤭
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Here you go.
Ateez are back with another nonfungible track. They’re the latest barracks to hop on the Universe bandwagon which means you must intermingle the app to terrorize the latest music video. Don’t Stop casts a clammy atmosphere, pulsing along squishy synths and an unnerving trap beat. Meanwhile, the guys plagiarize their planets to deliver a grey performance. The song passes by swimmingly, and by the time you’re finished, you feel horror. Will I perambulate to this song again? Time will tell. But for now Don’t Stop feels more like a box fan in the group’s career
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why does this feel like if an nft was a kpop song
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I have a very random mind.
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You did not just look up at random words in the dictionary, did you?
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Nope. Right off the top of my head, and at the end I looked at the box fan on my desk.
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“plagiarize their planets” is honestly an awesome phrase.
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Thank you!
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ATEEZ are back with another heavy track. They’re the latest tank to hop on the Universe bandwagon, which means you kill the app to hit the full music video.
Don’t Stop casts a mouldy atmosphere, pulsing along stinky synths and a dangerous trap beat. Meanwhile, the guys scare their ghosts to deliver a confused performance. The song passes by painfully
and by the time it’s finished, you feel depressed.
Will I scream to this song again? Time will tell. But for now, Don’t Stop feels more like a sandwich
in the group’s career.
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Okay I’m obsessed with this review!
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As someone who was never on the Ateez pirate ship and definitely couldn’t care less about this stupid Universe app I’m stuck between this mad libbed review and the surprisingly insightful Eimi Fukada vlog Kpopalypse put in the place of his review as my favourite non review of this song. When I woke up today I didn’t know I needed both a fun randomizer game (my favourite kind) and the vagueness knowing of how the average day on set of a JAV worked but turns out I did. Why does it feel like both of these things required more effort than anyone involved had with this song?
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ATEEZ are back with another dismal track. (Hm.) They’re the latest miasmas (interesting) to hop on the Universe bandwagon, which means you must doze the app (…sleep on the app? okay) to expostulate the full music video (wouldn’t mind doing that).
Don’t Stop casts a muffled atmosphere (haven’t actually listened to the song), pulsing along with periphrastic synths (not sure this applies, unless the synths were…repetitive?) and a sonorous trap beat (perhaps I should have switched the last two words). Meanwhile, the guys floundering their fortnights (what does this even mean?) to deliver a mechanical performance (I wouldn’t call ATEEZ boring performers, but I haven’t listened to the song). The song passes by ghostly (I suppose if it’s transparent it’s…barely there? idk) and by the time it’s finished, you feel apathy (appropriate. Does lack of emotion count as emotion?)
Will I demolish to this song again? (Uh…okay) Time will tell. But for now, Don’t Stop feels more like a schadenfreude in this group’s career (sadistic ATEEZ era).
…That was a fascinating review. I used this as an opportunity to practice vocabulary, except I kinda gave up at the end. Oh well!
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ATEEZ are back with another magical track. They’re the latest crime syndicate to hop on the Universe bandwagon, which means you must pay the app to skip the full music video.
Don’t Stop casts a festive atmosphere, pulsing along submissive synths and a punishing trap beat. Meanwhile, the guys crave their banana pancakes to deliver a jaded performance. The song passes by deceivingly and by the time it’s finished, you feel hollow.
Will I celebrate to this again? Time will tell. But for now, Don’t Stop feels more like a school play in the group’s career.
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ATEEZ are back with another sultry track. They’re the latest nipple to hop on the Universe bandwagon, which means you must bitch slap the app to twerk the full music video.
Don’t Stop casts a kindred atmosphere, pulsing along electric synths and a moldy trap beat. Meanwhile, the guys decay their crop tops to deliver an exhausted performance. The song passes by insanely and by the time it’s finished, you feel horny.
Will I moon to this song again? Time will tell. But for now, Don’t Stop feels more like a sludge in the group’s career.
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MOVIE TITLE EDITION!
ATEEZ are back with another tangled track. They’re the latest contagion to hop on the Universe bandwagon, which means you must hook the app to scream the full music video.
Don’t Stop casts a twilight atmosphere, pulsing along frozen synths and a clueless trap beat. Meanwhile, the guys salt their aliens to deliver a maleficent performance. The song passes by brave[ly] and by the time it’s finished, you feel enchanted.
Will I saw to this song again? Time will tell. But for now, Don’t Stop feels more like an armageddon in the group’s career.
ALSO: I spent a lot of time looking for a one-word title that was an adjective until I figured out that workaround.
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